Ukuze uphumelele kunoma iyiphi indawo empilweni yakho, uzodinga umgomo kanye namathuluzi adingekayo ukuze uwufinyelele. Lawa mathuluzi angamandla akho (noma ngabe ayini), amathalente owasebenzisayo akwenza uvelele ngandlela thile.
Ngawo-90, isayensi yezengqondo yashintsha indlela yayo yokufunda ezinye izici eyayingazinaki ngaphambilini. Okusho ukuthi, yaqala ukuqonda lo mkhakha njengokungaphezu nje kokungabikho kwezifo zengqondo, okwadala isayensi yezengqondo enhle, ehlobene eduze nalawa mandla…
Baqaphela ukuthi ukulinganisela ngokomzwelo kanye nenhlalakahle kwakungeyona nje indaba yokungabikho kwezinkinga zengqondo; kwakudingeka okunye okwengeziwe. Ngakho bashintsha ekufuneni nasekuphatheni izinkinga zempilo yengqondo baya ekugcizeleleni injabulo kanye nokuziqonda.
Kungaleso sikhathi lapho uMartin Seligman, uyise we-Positive Psychology , kanye noDkt. Christopher Peterson, bahlola khona lokho okwaziwa ngokuthi amandla ajwayelekile ayevamile kuzo zonke izizinda, izinhlanga kanye nezinkathi.
Iyini inqaba?
Amandla ayindlela nje yokucabanga yomuntu, njengobuthakathaka. Kodwa kulokhu, ayakha futhi angakusiza ezimweni eziningi zempilo.
Njengobuthakathaka, amandla awami ndawonye noma awahlali njalo; avela ngenxa yezimo ezahlukahlukene . Ngaphezu kwalokho, angaqeqeshwa ukuze athuthuke futhi aqiniswe, akusize endleleni yakho eya enjabulweni nasenhlalakahleni engokomzwelo.
Isibonelo , umuntu akahlali enomusa. Kuyinto evela ngezikhathi ezithile. Abanye abantu banamandla athuthukisiwe futhi bawabonisa kalula kunabanye, kodwa abahlali bekuleso simo… Bangaba nokuphakama nokwehla ngezizathu ezahlukahlukene, futhi lokho akusho ukuthi amandla anyamalele.
Indlela yokubona amandla?
Ukwazi ukubona amandla akho akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi njengokumane uzibuke wena. Ezinye zingase zifihliwe kuwe futhi abanye kuphela abangazibona ngokucacile. Okuthile okufana nalokho okwenzeka ngobuthakathaka.
Ukuze uthole amandla akho, ungalandela lawa macebiso :
- Ingabe kukhona okwaziyo ngempela? Kuyinkomba enkulu kakhulu yokuthi unamandla amakhulu. Leyo misebenzi ozizwa ugcwalisekile kuyo futhi ukhululekile uma unawe.
- Buza abanye. Ungabuza abanye abakwazi ukubona ezinye zezimfanelo zakho. Uma bekhuluma nawe ngokungagwegwesi, bazokwazi ukukwenza ubone ezinye izinto okungenzeka nawe ongazange uziqaphele njengezakho.
- Hlola. Hlola ngale kwalokho ojwayele ukukwenza. Kwesinye isikhathi uba namakhono obungazi ukuthi unawo ngoba awenzi lutho oluhlukile. Umjikelezo uzoveza kuphela obunye bobuthakathaka bakho namandla akho. Zama ukushintsha futhi izinto ezintsha zizovela phambi kwakho.
- Thola ukungezwani kwakho. Ukwehluka, noma ukuba yinqaba, kuyinto evame ukunganakwa. Kodwa iqiniso liwukuthi kungaba amandla amakhulu. Qaphela okwenzayo ngendlela ehlukile kweyabanye, okunye kwalowo mehluko kungaveza ubuthakathaka bakho namandla akho. Isibonelo, zicabange wenza umsebenzi futhi uvame ukuwenza ngendlela eshesha kakhulu nehlakaniphe ukwedlula ozakwenu. Kungase kube yingoba ugqama ngobuhlakani bakho nokudala kwakho...
Izinyathelo zokubaqinisa
Uma usuzitholile, ungasebenza ekuziqiniseni. Njengoba ngishilo, njengemisipha , zingavivinywa ukuze zithuthukiswe.
Ukuze uthuthukise amandla akho engqondo, udinga ukuwasebenzisa—okungukuthi, ukuwajwayeza ukuze abe namandla kakhulu. Ukuze wenze lokhu, sebenzisa kuphela amandla okwazi kahle ukuwasebenzisa, futhi umthelela wawo uzokhula.
Kubalulekile futhi ukucabangela imiphumela yokusebenzisa amandla akho. Isibonelo, uma ukwazile ngempela ukusiza abanye futhi ukwazile ukusindisa noma ukuthuthukisa izimpilo zabantu abaningi, lokho kuzokwanelisa futhi kuqinise ukuzimisela kwakho ukuqhubeka ngaleyo ndlela.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, uzokwazi ukuthi usebenzisa amandla akho ngokugcwele noma ukuthi ungawathuthukisa yini nakakhulu . Uma unomuzwa wokuthi ubungenza okwengeziwe, khona-ke awuwasebenzisi ngokugcwele amandla akho.
Ayini amandla?
Njengoba ngishilo, udinga ukuwabona, futhi sengikunikezile kakade amathiphu okwenza kanjalo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, usuvele uyazi incazelo yamandla; nokho, ngezibonelo ezicacile zamandla aphawuleka kakhulu, uzokwazi ukuwabona kuwe ngokucacile.
Ukudala
Ukudala kungamandla akuvumela ukuthi udale imibono noma ukuziphatha kwangempela, futhi uzivumelanise kangcono nendawo okuyo. Kungakusiza futhi ukuthi wenze izinqumo ezahlukene, uvelele , noma uthole izixazululo ezazingacatshangwa ngaphambili.
Ingasetshenziswa emikhakheni eminingi kanye nezicelo , kusukela ekusungulweni nasekubunjweni kuya kwezinye izici zobuchwepheshe zokuphila, njengokusiza abanye noma ukubhekana nezinselele ngendlela ehlukile.
Ukuze uyiqinise, kufanele uzinikele isikhathi sokucabanga nokucabanga ngalokho okuhle ngempela futhi okunentshisekelo kukho. Ngezinye izikhathi ukucindezeleka noma ukuntuleka kwesikhathi kuyisitha esikhulu sala mandla.
Kufanele ucabange ngendlela engavamile ukuze uqhamuke nemibono emisha futhi usungule izinto ezintsha . Ilukuluku lingenye indlela enamandla engadala ukusebenzisana okuthakazelisayo kakhulu nobuciko.
"Lapho ugqozi lufika, sengathi lungangithola ngisebenza."
Pablo Picasso
Ungagcizeleli kakhulu izingozi , ngoba uzogcina ulahle umbono wakho. Ngaphezu kwakho konke, ungapheli amandla. Izinto ezimangalisayo azitholakali njalo ekuzameni kokuqala; ezinye izingqondo ezinhle zokudala ziye zahluleka izikhathi eziningi ngaphambi kokufinyelela impumelelo. Ngakho-ke, ukuqina kungenye yamandla kulolu hlu afaka isandla ekudaleni.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, eminye imibono ivela ezikhathini lapho ungacabangi ngisho, noma emaphusheni , ngisho nangemva kokuzivocavoca kwengqondo.
Ilukuluku
Ilukuluku libhekwa njengelihlazo futhi livame ukudidaniswa nokuba ngumuntu othanda ukuxoxa. Kodwa abafani. Eqinisweni, kuvame ukushiwo ukuthi " ilukuluku libulele ikati ," kodwa iqiniso liwukuthi liyithonya elihle ngempela.
Ilukuluku luwuphawu lokuhlakanipha, isifiso sokufunda, ukuvuleleka ekushintsheni, futhi kuzokuholela ekufundeni . Futhi yini engcono kunokufunda ukuthuthukisa ulwazi lwakho nokuhlakanipha, ukukusebenzisa ukuthuthukisa izici eziningi zempilo yakho (umsebenzi, ezezimali, ukusinda, njll.).
Ukuvumelana nezimo zengqondo
Ukuze impilo yakho ishintshe ngempela ibe ngcono, kudingeka uzimisele ukwamukela lolo shintsho . Abanye abantu bakhononda ngesimo sabo samanje, kodwa babambeke endaweni yabo yokunethezeka futhi abafuni ukuyishiya. Kubonakala sengathi balandela lowo mbono odukile wokuthi " ungcono udeveli omaziyo kunodeveli ongamaziyo ."
Yilabo kuphela abanala mandla nokuvuleleka emibonweni emisha abangazamukela lezi zinguquko ukuze bathuthuke. Ngaphezu kwalokho, bamukela kakhulu ukugxekwa, okubavumela ukuthi bathuthuke nakakhulu.
Cabanga ukuthi uqine kakhulu futhi umelana noshintsho. Uma kunjalo, zama ukuzivula kancane bese wamukela inselelo noma ushintsho . Uzobona ukuthi kuyacebisa kangakanani, futhi akukubi njengoba ubucabanga!
Isibindi
Obunye bobuthakathaka bakhe obubi kakhulu kwakuwukwesaba; ngakho-ke, elinye lamandla akhe anamandla kakhulu "i-alter ego" yakhe, okungukuthi, isibindi . Ngesibindi, umuntu angabhekana nezinselele ezinkulu futhi abhekane nezithiyo zempilo, azinqobe ngokuzimisela okukhulu.
Ukuze uqinise isibindi sakho, kufanele usebenzele kuso, njenganoma imaphi amanye amandla. Yiba nesibindi sokwenza izinto ezikwesabisayo (kancane kancane), futhi uzobona ukuthi uyazinqoba ngaphandle kwenkinga, noma ngabe ubucabanga ukuthi awukwazi. Lokhu kuzoqinisa isibindi sakho ngempumelelo ngayinye. Ungase uthole nokuthi i-adrenaline rush, lokho "kuthuthumela" okuzwayo esiswini sakho lapho wenza okuthile, cishe kuyalutha…
Ukuqina/ukuphikelela
Elinye lamaphutha amakhulu abantu abawenzayo ukuzama into ethile kanye noma izikhathi ezimbalwa bese beyeka. Uma uyeka, awusoze wafinyelela umgomo wakho. Yingakho ukuphikelela nokuqina kubaluleke kangaka.
"Ngangizonda yonke imizuzu yokuqeqeshwa, kodwa ngangilokhu ngizitshela: 'Ungapheli amandla, hlupheka manje futhi uphile impilo yakho yonke njengompetha.'
Muhammad Ali
Ukuyeka isithiyo sokuqala ohlangana naso endleleni eya emgomweni wakho kuzokuvimbela ukuthi ungasifinyeleli. Uma ukhubeka futhi uwe izikhathi eziyinkulungwane, kumelwe uvuke izikhathi eziyinkulungwane kanye kanye ukuze uqhubeke. Ngokuphikelela nje, uzophumelela ekugcineni.
Amanzi athambile kakhulu kunedwala, akunjalo? Ngokuphambene nalokho, amawa asogwini acindezelwe amagagasi aba isihlabathi esihle. Kodwa lokhu akwenzekanga ngobusuku obubodwa; kwenzeka kancane kancane, kancane kancane, ukushaywa ngokushaya, kwaze kwaba yilapho ngisho netshe elinzima kakhulu liguqulwa laba uthuli…
Ubuqotho
Ngezinye izikhathi uzama ukungabi ngohlukile , uzihlanganise nabanye. Lokhu kukuholela ekwenzeni izinto ongafuni ukuzenza, noma ukusho izinto ongaqondile. Lena inkinga enkulu kuwe, ngoba uzohlala uzama ukujabulisa abanye, uphilela bona hhayi ngokwezimiso zakho.
"Obsequium Amicos, Veritas Odium Parit" («Ukukhonza kukhiqiza abangane, iqiniso, inzondo.")
Igama lesiLatini elithi Terence.
Elinye lamandla amakhulu omuntu onesithunzi sangempela ubuqotho bakhe kanye nokungabi nabugovu; ubuqotho bakhe, ukwethembeka, ukucaca, ukwethembeka emibonweni yakhe, udumo, kanye nokuphishekela ubulungiswa. Kodwa ngeshwa, lezi zimfanelo azihlonishwa kakhulu kulezi zinsuku...
Kodwa ingabe uyafuna ngempela ukwenza lokho abanye abakulindele kuwe? Noma ufuna ukuphila impilo yakho ngendlela ofisa ngayo?
Amor
Umhlaba ubungeke ufane ngaphandle kothando . Enye yamandla amahle kakhulu. Thuthukisa ikhono lakho lokuzithanda, futhi uzokwazi ukuthanda nabanye. Khuthaza ukunamathelana nokunakekelana komakhelwane wakho.
Ngaphandle kokwenzela abanye okuhle, kungenye yamandla agculisayo navuzayo kakhulu ohlwini. Ngokusho kuka-Eric Fromm, kunezinto ezine eziyisisekelo ezakha uthando: ukunakekelwa, umthwalo wemfanelo, inhlonipho, nolwazi.
Kukhona uhlobo olulodwa lothando , yize lungabonakaliswa ngezindlela eziningi. Njengothando lukamama ngengane yakhe, uthando ngomlingani wakho, uthando ngesilwane esifuywayo, njll. Kodwa kumelwe uhlukanise uthando nokunamathela noma uthando ngomuntu, nakuba kuyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu…
Amakhono omphakathi
Ukuze uphumelele emphakathini, amakhono aqinile okuxhumana nabantu abalulekile . Lokhu kuzokuvumela ukuthi uzungeze abantu abazohamba nawe ohambweni lokuphila, bavule iminyango eminingi (ngisho nenhliziyo yomngane wakho womphefumulo), futhi bakunikeze ukwesekwa ngezikhathi ezinzima.
Kodwa ukuze kufezwe lokho , nezinye izici kumele zinakekelwe, njengozwela kwabanye, ukuqiniseka, ukwazi ukuthethelela, ukuqonda, ukuba nesihawu, umusa, ukubonga, ukuzijwayeza ukulalela ngenkuthalo, ukusiza abanye ngokuzidela, nokuthuthukisa ubuhlakani obuhle bemizwa.
Ubuholi
Kuyimandla abaluleke kakhulu emsebenzini nasebhizinisini, kodwa futhi kuyasebenza ngaphandle kwawo. Kungakusiza empilweni yakho yansuku zonke ukuthi wenze izinqumo ezizokusondeza ekuthatheni isinyathelo sokushintsha, ukufeza imigomo emisha, nokufinyelela amaphupho akho.
"Umholi uyisa abantu lapho bebengeke baye khona bodwa."
Hans Finzel
Qaphela ubuholi; kumele buhlale buhambisana nomthamo omuhle wamandla amanye, njengokuqonda okujwayelekile nobuhlakani . Ngaphandle kwalokho, uzoba nguwe oholela enhlekeleleni.
Ukuba nomholi oqinile nonekhono eceleni kwakho kungakusiza nasezimweni ezinzima. Bangathatha izintambo futhi baqondise umkhumbi baye echwebeni eliphephile. Lokhu kuphambene nokuba nalabo "bahola" abanamathela kuwe ukuze bahlale bentanta, kodwa abakudonsa kancane kancane kodwa ngokuqinisekile nabo.
Funda ukuhlanza indawo okuyo futhi uzizungeze nabantu abafanele. Nakuba kungase kubonakale kunzima, ngezinye izikhathi kungcono ukunqamula izibopho ezithile. Awunacala ngalokho okwenzeka kuwo wonke umuntu, kodwa labo bantu abanobuthi babonakala bezama ukukusola noma ukukuthwalisa ezinye zezinkinga zabo.
Ukuthobeka nesizotha
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi unamandla amangaki, kumelwe uhlale uthobekile. Ukuthobeka kanye nesizotha kuyizimfanelo ezimbili ezingakusiza kakhulu ezimweni zomphakathi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuthuthukisa lezi zimfanelo kudinga izinga eliphezulu lokuzethemba.
Ngezinye izikhathi, abanye abantu bazama ukuvelela esixukwini, befuna ukuba yisizinda sokunaka, ukuzitholela lonke udumo, njalo njalo. Lokhu kudala ukwenqatshwa abanye. Ziyini izinzuzo zalawo mandla uma abantu ababazungezile beziqhelelanisa?
Ukuzithiba
Ukuba nekhono lokuphatha izici ezithile zempilo kungenye imfanelo enhle. Ngamanye amazwi, ukuzithiba okuhle . Kungale ndlela kuphela lapho ungalawula khona imizwa yakho, ukuziphatha, kanye nezifiso zakho. Kodwa lokhu akusho ukufihla imizwa yakho, imizwa (ikakhulukazi emibi njengentukuthelo), noma izinkinga, njengoba lokho kungaba yimbangela.
Ithemba
Ithemba yinto yokugcina yokufa, njengoba besho. Naphezu kwalokhu, abantu abaningi asebelinde okuthile isikhathi eside, noma abawela ekucindezelekeni, bagcina bedumele futhi belahlekelwe yithemba lokufeza lokho abakufunayo.
"Ukuphila akwenziwa ukuthi kungabekezeleleki ngenxa yezimo, kodwa ngokuntula incazelo nenjongo."
UVictor E. Frankl
Amandla ethemba akugcina ukhuthazekile , unethemba ngekusasa, unamandla okuqhubeka ulwela, ukuqhubeka nokungayeki emzabalazweni obhekene nawo. Ngamanye amazwi, kuyisipho esihle sokukhuthazela nokuphikelela.
Uyahlekisa
Ngezinye izikhathi akusikho kakhulu okwenzekayo kithi, kodwa indlela esisabela ngayo kukho. Akuwona wonke umuntu othintwa yisenzakalo esifanayo ngendlela efanayo, futhi lokho kungase kubonise ukuthi kungenxa yokuthi akuwona wonke umuntu osabela ngendlela efanayo nawe. Ukuhleka nokucabanga kahle kungakusiza ukuthi ungathinteki kakhulu yizinto ezimbi.
Izikhathi ezimbi kulula ukuzidlula ngomuzwa wokuhleka, futhi impilo ijatshulelwa ngokugcwele kakhulu ngombono omuhle . Siza abanye bahleke futhi babenze bamomotheke, futhi wenze okufanayo nakuwe. Ukwelapha ngokuhleka kuyasebenza!
Ingokomoya
Ukuba ngumuntu ongokomoya akusho ukukholelwa ezintweni ezingajwayelekile, noma ukuba ngumuntu okholwayo ngempela. Ingokomoya lingadlula lokho, lifune injongo empilweni yakho. Ukukholelwa ukuthi konke kunesizathu sokukusiza ukuthi uqhubekele phambili. Into engaba yisithasiselo esihle sethemba.
Wasebenzise amandla akho
Udinga ukufunda ukuthi ungawathuthukisa kanjani amandla akho ukuze abe namandla nakakhulu . Njengemisipha, uma usebenza kuwo, azoqina. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kufanele uwasebenzise ekuphileni kwakho kwansuku zonke, emsebenzini, njalo njalo.
Kufanele wazi ukuthi ithalente alilusizo kangako ngaphandle kokuzijwayeza . Ngokufanayo, ulwazi alufani nokuhlakanipha, njengoba ukuhlakanipha kusekusebenziseni. Eqinisweni, amandla ayisamba sethalente kanye nokusetshenziswa kwalo.
Isibonelo, abanye abantu banethalente lemvelo lokucula. Kodwa-ke, uma bengazilolongi noma bengathuthukisi izwi labo, ngeke kubasize ngalutho. Kunjalo nangamakhono engqondo , yize engabonakali kalula. Engizama ukukusho ukuthi, ungawavumeli achitheke... Zenze zizuze empilweni yakho!