What comes to mind when you hear the word “anger”?:Frustration? Shouting? Loss of control? Violence? Fear? Silence? Evasion? All the answers are reasonable… Or are they not?
Anger can also have a positive or kinder side: confrontation, energy, tenacity or honesty.
There aren't many people who grew up in families where they truly felt safe expressing their angry feelings. Perhaps all these negative associations are not so surprising considering that most of us do not have a model of healthy anger. Anger, like most things in life, can have positive aspects (energy, honesty, tenacity) and negative (frustration, violence, fear).
Anger, by definition, is “a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence that arouses aggressive responses.”
However, a broader clinical description states that anger is a state of heightened activation or excitement of the autonomic nervous system (e.g., increased heart rate, rapid breathing, flushed face, chest pains, sweaty palms, etc.). ) that is nourished by our interpretation of the facts.
We can take advantage of that explosion of energy constructively and with a purpose or intention. To do this we need a high degree of self-control. Controlling our breathing and not losing sight of our goal will help us. If we manage to find a use for such a wild feeling, we will have the power to do many other things.
I leave you with an example of poorly controlled anger: