It is well known that good communication is the foundation of any successful relationship, whether personal or professional. In this sense, non-verbal communication is also very important: facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, posture and tone of voice. The ability to understand and use non-verbal communication, or body language, is a powerful tool that can help you connect with others and build better relationships.
Why is non-verbal communication important?
The way you hear, see, move, and react tells the other person whether you care about the conversation. When nonverbal cues match your words, they increase confidence, clarity, and rapport. When they do not coincide, they generate tension, mistrust and confusion.
If you want to become a better communicator, it is important to become more sensitive not only to the body language and non-verbal cues of others, but also to your own cues.
Nonverbal communication cues can perform five functions:
* Repetition: They can repeat the message that the other person is saying verbally.
* Contradiction: They can contradict the message the other person is trying to convey.
* Substitution: They can replace a verbal message. For example, a look can often convey a much more intense message than words.
* Complementarity: They can add to or complement a verbal message. A boss who pats an employee on the back, in addition to conveying praise, can increase the impact of the message.
* Accentuation: can accentuate or emphasize a verbal message. Tapping on the table, for example, can emphasize a message.
Source: The Importance of Effective Communication , Edward G. Wertheim
Types of non-verbal communication and body language
There are many different types of non-verbal communication:
facial expressions
The human face is very expressive, capable of expressing countless emotions without saying a word.
Body movements and posture
Consider how your perceptions of people are affected by the way they sit or walk. The way people move communicates a huge amount of information. This type of nonverbal communication includes your posture, carriage, and subtle movements.
Gestures
Gestures are woven into the fabric of our daily lives. We greet each other by signing or gesturing with our hands when we are arguing or talking animatedly. These gestures are generally unconscious. However, the meanings of gestures can be very different between cultures and regions, so it is important to be careful to avoid misinterpretations.
Eye contact
Since the sense of sight is dominant for most people, eye contact is an especially important type of nonverbal communication. The way you look at someone can communicate many things, including interest, affection, hostility, or attraction. Eye contact is also important to maintain the flow of the conversation and to gauge the other person's response.
Physical contact
We communicate a lot with touch. Consider the messages given by the following texts: a weak handshake, a shy touch on the shoulder, a warm hug, a reassuring pat on the back, or a condescending pat on the head.
Studio
Have you felt uncomfortable during a conversation because the other person was too close and invading your space? We all have a need for physical space, although that need varies depending on culture, situation, and the closeness of the relationship. You can use physical space to communicate many different nonverbal messages, including signals of intimacy or aggression or dominance.
Voz
It's not just what you say, it's how you say it: the rhythm, the volume, the tone and the inflection. Think about how the tone of someone's voice, for example, may indicate sarcasm, anger, affection, or trust.
Non-verbal communication cannot be faked
You may be familiar with tips on how to sit a certain way, or how to shake hands just in order to appear confident. But the truth is, those tips are not helpful (unless you really feel safe and responsible). This is because you can't control all the signals you're constantly sending about what you're really thinking and feeling. And the more you try, the more unnatural its signals become.
When non-verbal communication is wrong.
What you communicate through your body language and non-verbal cues affects how others see you.
Unfortunately, many people send confusing or negative nonverbal signals without even knowing it. When this happens, both the connection with your interlocutor and trust are damaged.
Non-verbal communication and body language in relationships
John, Mary, and Joseph are all eloquent speakers who say one thing but have disastrous body language, with disastrous results in their relationships:
Juan
He thinks he gets along very well with his coworkers, but if you were to ask any of them, they would say that Jack is "intimidating" and "very intense." Instead of just looking, they seem to devour with their eyes. And if he takes her hand, he goes for it and then squeezes so hard it hurts. Jack is a loving man who secretly wishes he had more friends, but his verbal clumsiness keeps people at a distance and limits his ability to advance at work.
MarÃa
She is attractive and has no problem meeting intelligent men, but she has a hard time maintaining a relationship for more than a few months. Maria is fun and interesting, but even though she constantly laughs and smiles, she radiates tension. Her shoulders and eyebrows rise noticeably, her voice is squeaky, and her body is rigid. Being around Maria can become uncomfortable. Maria has many things going for her but she is limited by her body language.
José
José thought he had found the perfect match when he met LucÃa. However, Lucia was not so convinced. José is handsome, hardworking and very outspoken, but when LucÃa had something to say, José was always ready with wild eyes and a retort before he could finish his thought. This made LucÃa feel ignored and she soon began dating other men. José loses his jobs for the same reason. His inability to listen to others makes him unpopular.
These intelligent, well-intentioned people struggle in their attempt to connect with others. The sad thing is that they are not aware of the non-verbal messages they communicate.
If you want to communicate effectively, avoid misunderstandings, and enjoy strong relationships both socially and professionally, it is important to understand how to use and interpret nonverbal cues.
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Setting the stage for effective nonverbal communication
To improve non-verbal communication, learn to manage stress.
Learning to manage stress is one of the most important things you can do to improve your non-verbal communication. Stress endangers your ability to communicate. When you are stressed you are more likely to misinterpret other people and send confusing or unpleasant non-verbal signals. Plus, emotions are contagious. If you are upset, it is very likely that it will cause discomfort in your interlocutors.
If you feel overwhelmed by stress, take a moment to calm down before resuming the conversation. Once you have regained your emotional balance, you will be better equipped to deal with the situation in a positive way.
Emotional awareness strengthens non-verbal communication
It is necessary to be aware of your emotions and how they influence you. You must also be able to recognize the emotions of others. This is where emotional awareness comes into play.
Emotional awareness allows you to:
* To accurately interpret others.
* Build trust in relationships by sending nonverbal signals that match your words.
Tips for reading body language and non-verbal communication
Once you have developed your stress management skills and emotional awareness, you will get better at reading the nonverbal signals sent by others.
* Pay attention to inconsistencies. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said. Does the person say one thing and their body language say something different?
* Don't focus on just one gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all the nonverbal cues you're receiving together, from eye contact to tone of voice.
Trust your instincts. Don't dismiss your gut feelings.
As you continue to pay attention to nonverbal cues and the signals you send and receive, your ability to communicate will improve. Source