Children do not understand the concept of death the same way we adults do, they have more magical thinking and may not even understand that they will never see a person who has died again and They think that even if they haven't seen her for a while, maybe one day they will be able to hug her again, when this is not the case. It is necessary to know how to help children with grief.
When a loved one dies, children feel and show their pain in different ways. How children cope with loss depends on things like their age, how close they felt to the person who died, and the support they receive. Today we want to give you some advice so you can help a child overcome grief.
Helps overcome grief in children
Grief in children is not easy to overcome, but children need your support and love to feel supported in these complicated feelings. This is not easy because you also have to deal with your pain.
The pain of losing a loved one is very great, so it is necessary that if you need it, Seek professional help to deal with your emotions and when you feel a little stronger, you can help the children accept the grief they are going through.
- Speak simply and clearly. When you talk about death, use simple and clear words. To break the news that someone has died, approach your child carefully. Use words that are simple and direct. For example, "I have some sad news to tell you. Grandma died today. Pause to give your child a moment to absorb his words.
- Listen and give comfort. Every child reacts differently when learning that a loved one has died. Some children cry. Some ask questions. Others seem not to react at all. All reactions are fine. Stay with your child to offer hugs or reassurance. Answer your child's questions or just be together for a few minutes.
- Name the emotions. Encourage children to say what they think and feel each day, weeks and months after the loss. Talk about your own feelings: Help children be aware of and comfortable with their own. Say things like, “I know you feel very sad. I'm sad too. “We both loved Grandma very much, and she loved us too.”
- Tell your child what to expect. If the death of a loved one means changes in your child's life, avoid any worries or fears by explaining what will happen. For example, "Aunt Sara will pick you up from school like Grandma used to." Or: “I need to stay with Grandpa for a few days. That means you and dad will be at home taking care of each other. But I will talk to you every day and I will be back on Sunday.”
- Talk about funerals and rituals. Allow children to participate in rituals such as visitations, funerals, or memorial services. Tell your child ahead of time what will happen. For example, "Many people who loved Grandma will be there. We will sing, pray and talk about Grandma's life. People could cry and hug each other. People will say things like, 'I'm sorry for your loss,' or, 'My condolences.' Those are kind things to say to family at a funeral. We can say 'Thank you' or 'Thank you for coming.' You can stay close to me and hold my hand if you want.”
- Talk about your beliefs You may need to explain the burial or cremation. For example, "After the funeral, there is a burial in a cemetery. The person's body is in a coffin that is buried in the ground with a special ceremony. This may seem like a sad goodbye, and people may cry." Share your family's beliefs about what happens to a person's soul or spirit after death.
- Explain what will happen after the funeral. Explain what will happen after the burial or cremation as a way to show that people will feel better. For example, "We're all going to eat together. People will laugh, talk, and hug each other a little more. Focusing on happy memories of Grandma and the good feeling of being together helps people start to feel better.”
- Give your child a role. Taking a small, active role can help children master an unfamiliar and emotional situation, such as a funeral or memorial service. For example, you can invite your child to read a poem, choose a song to play, put together some photos to show, or do something. Let the children decide if and how they want to participate.
- Help your child remember the person. In the coming days and weeks, encourage your child to draw or write down their loved one's favorite stories. Don't avoid mentioning the person who died. Remembering and sharing happy memories helps heal pain and activate positive feelings.
- Respond to emotions calmly. Notice if your child seems sad, worried, or upset in other ways. Ask about feelings and listen. Let your child know that it takes time to feel better after the death of a loved one. Some children may have temporary problems concentrating or sleeping. Support groups and therapy can help children who need more support.
- Help your child feel better. Give your child the comfort he needs, but don't worry about sad feelings. After a few minutes of talking and listening, switch to an activity or topic that helps your child feel a little better. Play, create art, cook, or go somewhere together.
- Give it time. Give your child time to be able to recover from the loss. Grief is a process that occurs over time. Make sure you have ongoing conversations to see how he is feeling and what your child is doing. Healing does not mean forgetting your loved one. It means remembering the person with love and letting loving memories trigger good feelings that support us as we enjoy life.